Posts Tagged ‘Dream’

Writer’s Block or Just Grieving?
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Our last family photo with Hannah

Before my daughter went to her permanent residence in heaven I found it easier to write and post on my blog. I felt like it was cathartic in many ways. It helped me to get the word out and tell the story about all the wonderful things the Lord is doing on the Border, the Baja and Beyond. I also shared some of my personal musings and reflections as I deemed it appropriate.

I wouldn’t say that I don’t enjoy writing now, but I would say it’s harder. In some of the books I’ve read about grief, they mention how many of the things that used to bring us joy are now hollow. I feel that at times, and even though in a few days we will hit the five month mark there are still a rollercoaster of emotions that I experience. I wish there were another way, but I don’t think there is. I believe that all in all Dawn and I are doing well considering what we are passing through. Yet, it’s still painful. There are still those moments where we want to scream out, Why? Why? Why? Fortunately, the Lord doesn’t leave us there he comforts us, and many friends surround us.

God Does Sustain Us in Our Suffering!

A little over a week ago our friend and pastor, Stephen Phelan asked Dawn and me to share in church about how the Lord sustains us in our suffering. I thought I’d share some of that here with you as well, including a dream that our friend Marissa had.

I never really understood how horrible death was until our daughter died
I realize that this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be, and there’s not a day that goes by that Dawn and I don’t feel some sadness, some frustration and like a part of us is gone.
I Miss My Beautiful Radiant Daughter
Our beautiful daughter and beloved sister, Hannah

Our beautiful radiant daughter and much loved sister, Hannah. We miss her dearly

I miss my daughter. I’m glad Hannah is dancing and partying in heaven, whatever that looks like, but I want to hold her and hug her again. I want to see her beautiful radiant smile in living color. There is a hole now that can’t fully be filled. That is my grief, that is my mourning song. I’m learning firsthand how cruel death is.

There is a type of groaning. One of the hard things about death is there are no do overs. No second chances. It is final. When I see pictures of Hannah and I’m reminded of her for a moment I think there must be a way to see her again this side of heaven. Maybe it’s a longing God puts inside of me. A longing for eternity, and a longing for something more and something greater than what this life has to offer.
God is Good, He Holds Me Tight
My anchor and what I’ve had to remember:
God is good
God is love
God is in control
These are simple truths, but it’s what I keep going back to when I get confused and lost on this long and winding road that we are on.
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I love this picture because Hannah took it at Starbucks one of our favorite places to hang out, and she put it on my lock screen on my phone

There’s a lot I don’t understand. I don’t understand why my daughter had to die at such a young age? Now I wonder why just a few months after Hannah’s early home going, why does my dad have to have inoperable lung cancer? Why do we have to endure two hard things so close together?

God made it clear to me that it is good to grieve and it is right to grieve. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 says we grieve, but not as those without hope.
Grieving With My Mechanic
About a week after Hannah passed away I took my car in to my mechanic and he asked me how my family was doing. My mechanic is from Afghanistan, and he’s not a believer.
I told him how my daughter had died, and that it was hard. I said, “my faith gives me hope, and that I grieve, but not like those without hope.” He said, “that is easy to say,” and I responded, “no it’s not really, because I don’t get to hug my daughter anymore, I don’t get to kiss her and tell her I love her. I don’t get to go out for coffee or have any dates with her. I don’t get to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. All our dreams and aspirations are gone.”
He softened up after this, and told me of how he had been struggling with drinking , and his wife forced him to go get help. Then he told me he had a vacation home in Bajamar, which is near Ensenada and offered to let me use it. The Lord used him to encourage me, as he opened up.
Hannah’s home going  made me hate death more, and it made me long for heaven. If I’m honest a big reason I want to go to heaven is to see my daughter again and to give her a big kiss and a big hug. What a wonderful day that will be.
12362973_734515866680367_9062266216563511086_oMarissa’s Dream
I’d like to end this longer post than usual with a dream. An experience that Hannah’s good friend Marissa Irakoze shared with us.
I woke up today feeling a really intense feeling of happy and sad. I had a dream I saw both of you and Jon and David standing by a bench, we were in Heaven from how peaceful and joyful I felt. There was a girl sitting with her back turned towards me, but she had soft brown curled hair just like Hannah would wear hers when she lived with us. I thought “no, there’s no way that could be Hannah”. She turned around and immediately I burst into something that was crying, squealing and laughing all at the same time. I somehow managed to say “I really thought I would never see you again!! I really felt like this day would never come!! I can’t believe this is you!!” And she just looked SO healthy. Healthier, more joyful, incredibly at peace, and everything about her just glowed, and so so content. I wish I could describe it. She hugged me tight and just said “see? I told you it wouldn’t be long until I would see you guys again! I told you not to worry because I’m with Jesus!”
 
I feel encouraged and sad, because we’re still on the other side of this dream and it DOES feel like it’s taking forever to be able to join her. But in the dream, I could tell I had been waiting so long to see her, but once I looked back it was nothing compared to the eternity we now had to catch up. It was one of the strangest feeling I’ve had in a dream.
 
Praying for you all today ❤️❤️
I told Marissa that I shared this dream with our church, and she said that it was the clearest dream she’s ever had. I think it’s God graciously giving us a glimpse of heaven!
“For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭30:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬
Thank you so much for standing with us. Thank you so much for letting me share my heart with you. I pray the Lord’s rich and bountiful blessings on you!
In His Grip, Dave
Glimpses of God’s Grace
Chivis and Hannah

Chivis and Hannah

Since Hannah passed away the Lord has ministered to us, and shown us glimpses of grace. He has given us some previews of heaven.

One of Hannah’s best friends, Chivis. A friend that Hannah knew since they were about two years old. They first met each other in Mexico City, and that relationship continued through our years in Colorado and now on the San Diego/Tijuana border.

On the day Hannah died, Chivis had a dream. Hannah went to be with the Lord around midnight Pacific time on Tuesday, October 18th. Chivis had a dream at 2 AM Central time on the same day. Her dream is a very encouraging one, and gives us a glimpse into the Lord’s work.

Chivis’ Dream of Hannah
Hannah & Chivis in Mexico City

Hannah & Chivis in Mexico City

Here’s the dream that Chivis shared with us:

Hannah and I were in a beautiful garden, full of flowers. It was a beautiful and sunny day. When I saw Hannah’s face I was surprised, because she looked very young around 11 or 12 years old. Her face was radiant and it radiated such brilliance that I was sure that she had seen her Creator face to face (although I didn’t realize it at the time).

While we were together we laughed like we used to when we were younger. We shared jokes and we held hands. All of the sudden, I realized that the last time I saw Hannah in Mexico, she didn’t look like this. She was a little down, and she had gained weight and of course she was 22 years old.

When I remembered the last time I had seen her, it seemed strange so I turned to look at her again and there she was. She was young, smiling and full of joy. Then I fixed my sight on her, and I told her, “Hannah, sister, you are completely recovered!!!!!!” She turned to look at me with a smile and gave me a high-five. She said, “Yes, I feel very different, we made it!”

After exchanging hugs and some more time of chatting, Hannah said to me, “Chivita, I have to go, but I will see you soon. I love you very much.” I said goodbye too and gave her a big sister’s hug, and I told her that I loved her and she left.

Chivis & Hannah

Chivis & Hannah

Trusting God’s Goodness

This greatly encouraged Chivis, and when she shared it with us we felt that the Lord was giving us further confirmation that, although Hannah’s death is tragic in that she died so young, we see his hand was in it, and that he had a purpose in it. We may not understand that purpose, but we trust in the Lord’s wisdom.

There were also three or four others who shared visions that they had of Hannah. They saw her filled with joy, and at peace while she was enjoying being in heaven with her loving Father.

Thank you, Jesus for your kind graces to us, and thanks to all of those who love us and love our daughter, Hannah.

In his Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org

The Lord is Faithful
The coast off of La Paz, Baja California. We hope to start a new church plant there in 2015.

The coast off of La Paz, Baja California. We hope to start a new church plant there in 2015.

This past week I’ve written numerous reports for our mission – Mission to the Word (MTW). Recounting highlights and accomplishments over the last year. I found it encouraging to look back on what God had accomplished through the Border and Baja ministry.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness.

I also had to look forward to the future. Prayerfully consider what does the Lord want to do through us in the upcoming year. I find that it’s important to be positive – to dream big dreams.

Dream BIG Dreams!

A friend and supporter of our ministry once shared a quote that has stayed with me.

Dream no small dreams, for small dreams have no power to move the heart of men. –Jonathan Wolfgang Goethe

I like that quote. It challenges me to believe God for good things, even big things. William Carey, missionary to India, who is considered the father of modern missions said,

Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.

Pastor Daniel Nuñez and Victor Bravo with Dave

Pastor Daniel Nuñez the leader of Lo Mejor del Trigo and Victor Bravo, one of our newest church planters with Dave. We are planning on starting a new church in Rosarito in early 2015

The Lord is the one who enables us to dream big dreams, and when they are God sized dreams then life gets exciting. That is where I want to live.

I’ve found that this place is not a comfortable place to be, because the Lord will stretch us. He will take us to places we’ve never been before.

As you enjoy Advent, and celebrating Immanuel lean on God for the future. He has a good plan for you, so be hopeful!

For We know the thoughts and plans that our God has for us, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give us hope in our final outcome. (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP)

What a wonderful promise – “plans for welfare and peace and not for evil.” God is a good God and his purpose and plans for us are good. That’s why William Carey could go to a difficult place like India and expect great things from God. He did attempt a great thing for God and the Lord answered his prayer. He changed the face of missions for the church and reached many in India.

Join Us in Prayer!

Pray with us that we will be bold enough to both expect great things from God as well as attempt great things for God. We know that we won’t be successful without an army of faithful friends who are standing with us. Hold us up dear friend.

Let me urge you to risk it and trust God for big things in your future as well. After all, we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus! Hallelujah!

In HIs Grip, Dave

DiasoLifeOnTheBorder.org