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The Cross: Don’t Forget the Sorrow!

The Pain of Loss

The Cross on Mount Soledad in San Diego
The Cross on Mount Soledad in San Diego

Recently I was conversing with some of my missionary colleagues about death and grieving, and how most of us struggle with working through the sorrow of losing someone we love. The Bible tells us to not grieve as those without hope, but it does not tell us not to grieve. One of the phrases that was said a few times just a few days after Hannah had passed away is that “Hannah is more alive than ever.” While that is true, I didn’t feel that it helped me at the time. That phrase in some way seemed to make me feel like I shouldn’t be sad. I know it wasn’t meant that way, but I didn’t find it comforting. That is not to say that I lost hope entirely. Yet, I felt that it minimized the pain and the deep loss I had just experienced.
I should add that I’m more able to receive that word, and I find it more comforting now that I’ve had some time to grieve and process Hannah’s home going.
I still feel the sadness at times, and it hits me at unexpected times. It’s not as frequent as it once was. In some way, I find it hard to explain the emotions that I go through. The realization that my daughter is no longer here, and that I can’t talk to her anymore. We can’t do together any of those things we had dreamed of.

Lessons from the Cross

Dave with Hannah - My beautiful daughter that I love
Dave with Hannah – My beautiful daughter that I love

As I conversed with my missionary friends, one of them, Bill Yarbrough brought up some thoughts of a friend of his, who just happens to be a nun. She said that she feels we move on from the cross too quickly to the resurrection. We forget the pain involved in Jesus’s death on the cross, and that his mother and his friends felt deep sorrow. They didn’t realize at the time of his death that Jesus would rise from the dead. Thanks be to God that Jesus did rise on the third day!
Now that I lost my daughter, and I have suffered deep loss I am grateful for the man of sorrows, who’s acquainted with grief. He comforts me in my loss. He stays with me. He gives me hope, and lifts me out of the pit when I fall in. I believe the Lord has some awesome and wonderful mysteries for me to learn as He embraces me in my loss.

All of the Creation Groans for Redemption

Dave & Dawn - Thankful for my wife and that I don't have to go on this journey alone
Dave & Dawn – Thankful for my wife and that I don’t have to go on this journey alone

We live in this broken world, scarred by sin.
The enemy of our soul comes to kill, steal and destroy, and he will do anything he can to hurt us. This too is one of the effects of the fallen world we live in.
That is why all of creation groans for redemption. We long for the new creation. We long to be in the place where there will be no more loss, no more suffering, no more sorrow. The place where we will see our Savior, the lover of our soul face to face. We will be reunited with those we love.
I can’t wait to see my daughter again. I can’t wait to hug her again. If there are any tears they will be tears of joy!
In His Grip, Dave


  • By Larry Who
    Posted September 11, 2017 at 9:04 am

    We all want to “know Him and the power of His resurrection,” but the second part of Philippians 3:10 we’d just as soon ignore. Your journey can help me and others. God bless you.

    • By diasolifeontheborder
      Posted September 18, 2017 at 3:02 am

      Thank you for your comments and for your prayers!

  • By sustainabilitea
    Posted September 11, 2017 at 11:41 am

    Without the knowledge of heaven, what a terrible life this would be and how we would cling to it even more than we already do! I haven’t experience anything like your loss yet (my parents are still alive and almost at 89 and 88), but I do think we have to allow ourselves time to mourn and not feel bad about that. Although we can rejoice that our loved one is home with God, we’re still left here, missing him/her until that last day arrives.

    • By diasolifeontheborder
      Posted September 18, 2017 at 3:03 am

      Thanks for your continued encouragement

      • By sustainabilitea
        Posted September 18, 2017 at 5:09 am

        It’s my privilege.

  • By Pieter Stok
    Posted September 12, 2017 at 4:15 am

    A great message from a deep sorrow. Thank you!

    • By diasolifeontheborder
      Posted September 18, 2017 at 3:03 am

      Thank you for your kind words of encouragement

  • By chosenrebel
    Posted September 12, 2017 at 9:47 am

    Amen brother. Praying for you and your bride and your sons in the deep sorry you must have even though tempered and transformed by gospel truth. Our hearts continue to long and groan for the complete healing that is to come.

    • By diasolifeontheborder
      Posted September 18, 2017 at 3:04 am

      Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement!

  • By Mary L Beal
    Posted September 24, 2017 at 8:55 pm

    Dave & Dawn –
    I won’t pretend to have had the experience that you are continuing to go through.
    But I did lose Dad, then Mom, within 8 months of each other. It was excruciating, in that, I was grieving deeply but didn’t realize it. If I felt it, I would push it away. After a while, I found that I was reeling from not having dealt with it. I am doing better now, but it took me more than 2 years before life began normalizing.
    We are praying for you & Dawn.

    • By diasolifeontheborder
      Posted September 25, 2017 at 8:12 pm

      Mary, I’m sorry for the pain you went through when you lost your parents. Dealing with loss is no easy thing. It takes time and our faith sure does help, but it’s still hard

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